Kimi ga Yo
by Constalina
Summary: Eiji mistakes the meaning of the national anthem of Japan, ultimately embarrasing himself and Seigaku.


**Author's note: **At school, we just learned about the Jap national anthem. Later on my friend and I cracked up because 'Kimi ga Yo' means 'The Emperor's Reign'. We somehow connected that to Sanada, hence this fic. Enjoy, kya-pu! PP: FujiBun, EchSana,

P.S. YES, I know I have to update Calming Therapy and BBORR, but I've never finished a chapter fic to date, so sue me. I haven't done PoT in a while, so I've forgotten all the pairing names. Sorry.

"Why do we worship Sanada?" asked Eiji.

"Kikumaru-sempai, what the hell?" asked Momo. "We don't worship Sanada."

"Yeah we do."

"No we don't," said Echizen.

"Yeah we do."

"No we don't," said Kaidoh.

"Cookieland." Everyone stared at him. Fuji smirked.

"Is there any wasabi cookies?" he asked.

"Gah! The evil wasabi roll! Run away!" Eiji started running in circles around the other regulars. Everyone twitched.

"You had to do that, Fuji," said Oishi, standing up to calm down Eiji.

"Wasabi will rule the world and destroy us all!" screamed Eiji.

"Wasabi's not that bad," said Fuji.

"And Inui juice isn't bad either," said Echizen sarcastically.

"Exactly," said Fuji, returning to his lunch. Eiji sat down next to Fuji.

"WE ALL WORSHIP SANADA, WHETHER WE LIKE IT OR NOT!" screeched Eiji. Oishi faceplamed.

"My data says otherwise," said Inui.

"Then why is the national anthem 'Kimi ga Yo'?!" yelled Eiji in frustration.

"Hey, good point," mumbled Kaidoh.

"Eiji, since when has the REST of our national anthem made sense?" said Fuji.

"SO WHAT DOES OUR NATIONAL ANTHEM _MEAN_?!"

"Hmm… 'Kimi ga yo wa, chiyo ni, hachiyo ni', 'May the Emperor's reign, continue for a thousand, eight thousand generations'," said Taka.

"That's pretty straightforward," said Inui.

"So Sanada will give Echizen babies?" asked Eiji.

"WHAT?!" yelled Echizen. Momo and Kaidoh restrained him from killing Eiji.

"It said that he will continue for eight thousand generations."

"Fair point," said Fuji.

"Not helping," said Oishi.

"Can you blame me?"

"Eiji, it's not referring to Sanada," said Taka, watching Echizen struggling against. "It means that the Emperor is immortal, sort of."

"Sanada's immortal? That means Echizen can't have his babies. Unless he's a cat person," said Eiji.

"HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU, I AM NOT A CAT PERSON!" roared Echizen. "AND I CAN'T GIVE SANADA BABIES!"

"Oh, are you infertile?"

"WHAT?! NO!" At that moment, someone climbed over the school wall and plummeted into the middle of the Seigaku regulars. The person was wearing bright yellow, and had a mop of black seaweed hair.

"Kirihara Akaya?!" the regulars yelled. Kirihara looked up.

"Gah! God! It's the sadist God! NUUUU!!!" he screamed, pointing at Fuji. Fuji sighed.

"What is it now, Kirihara?" asked Fuji. The regulars jumped in the air when they heard a familiar scream.

"KIRIHARA AKAYA! I SWEAR TO WHATEVER DEMON YOU SERVE UNDER, I WILL GUT YOU AND GET BACK MY CANDY!" screamed Marui Bunta. Kirihara squealed, and hid behind Tezuka.

"Oi Fuji, it's your boyfriend," whispered Echizen. Fuji chuckled. Another voice erupted outside Seigaku.

"HEY KIRIHARA! DON'T WORRY! MARUI'S TOO PREGNANT TO CHASE YOU NOW!" Niou Masaharu roared. They heard Yukimura Seiichi's recognizable laughter on the other side of the wall. Bunta appeared at the corner, followed by the rest of the Rikkai regulars.

"Tasukete!" pleaded Kirihara, shaking behind Tezuka. Bunta spotted Kirihara, and walked slowly towards them.

"The slow and evil approach only works for Kirihara, Yukimura, and Fuji, fat-ass," said Niou. Bunta glared at Niou.

"I'd like to see you do better!" bellowed Bunta. When Bunta caught sight of Fuji, his face turned the same colour as his hair, and he froze.

"Uh… Hi Fuji…" said Bunta. The other Rikkai regulars were already beside Bunta. Eiji jumped up, pointing at Sanada.

"I want to ask you questions," he demanded.

"Oh God no," moaned Oishi. The Rikkai regulars were shocked that Eiji had the nerve to demand something from Sanada. The Seigaku regulars were stifling their laughter.

"Why do we worship you?" If there was a question that the Rikkai regulars expected, it wasn't that one. Bunta completely forgot about Kirihara.

"… Seriously?" said Niou.

"I find that sorely disappointing, Fuji. Is that the best question your team can conjure up?" said Yukimura. Fuji shrugged.

"No, if given a different subject, we could think of something else," he replied. Everyone ignored the sadists.

"…" Sanada was way too shocked to answer.

"Should I make that a bit more Pacific?" said Eiji.

"Why would you want to make it more like an ocean?" asked Momo.

"The national anthem," Eiji said bluntly. Realisation dawned on the Rikkai regulars' eyes, and all of them, except Sanada, burst into laughter.

"Is it because Sanada is nicknamed 'The Emperor'?" asked Yanagi. Eiji nodded wildly, causing Niou and Kirihara to go on all fours.

"This is too sweet!" said Niou, banging on the ground. Kirihara was clutching his stomach, unable to breathe.

"Oh my God! Kirihara's not even that funny!" said Bunta, leaning on Jackal, who was also clutching his stomach.

"Um… Kikumaru-kun…" said Yagyuu. He explained how Sanada had nothing whatsoever to do with the national anthem. After a few 'friendly' matches, the Rikkai regulars were about to leave Seigaku.

"By the way, Echizen's unfertile," said Eiji, with a huge smile. Everyone went silent, before bursting into laughter. Sanada was once again speechless. Tezuka was quietly trying to figure out how he became captain of a group of weirdos. Echizen was fuming mad.

"KIKUMARU-SEMPAI!"

"COOKIELAND!"

**Author's note: **I finished that in about two hours…


End file.
